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Newsletter Volume 6 - December 5, 2001
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More exciting news: Words Can Heal has accepted a rare opportunity-- an invitation to host a luncheon at the prestigious National Press Club (Washington D.C). on Monday, December 10, 2001. The event will address 250 leading media reporters on Words Can Heal and "Building a Better Normal". Special guest speaker Goldie Hawn, board member of Words Can Heal, will call on Americans to turn the pain of September 11 into positive change through the power of words. Don't miss this opportunity to tune into the event, broadcast live, on C-Span or National Public Radio (1:00-2:00 PM EST).
The experts said, based on the Soviets’ failure, that it is impossible to win a war in Afghanistan. Yet, in just six weeks, the Taliban have almost been defeated. Similarly, hard-nosed pragmatists will say that it is impossible to improve American society by thousands of people improving their speech. But this is the season where we can renew our sense of community, using words that encourage, engage and enrich to triumph what is morally right. Sometimes trying to do good can yield surprising results, as the following stories show.
Irwin Katsof
Executive Director, Words Can Heal
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Quote of the Week
"I always try to plant a flower wherever I feel a flower will grow."
--Abraham Lincoln
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Tip of the Week: At Home
The telephone can make it so simple to tear someone down or build someone up. Two "Words Can Heal" subscribers took upon themselves to once a day turn a routine telephone call into an opportunity to make someone feel good. Here are their stories:
- Janice
Janice had almost finished returning her telephone messages when she realized that she had not yet fulfilled her daily commitment to use her telephone to make someone feel good. The last call on her list was to the mother of her daughter’s teammate, a woman she barely knew, in order to change the carpool schedule.
"What could I possibly say to this woman to make her feel better?" Janice thought as she dialed.
Once the carpool schedule was changed, before hanging up, Janice said, "I want you to know that it makes me feel secure that my daughter is riding with such a careful, safe driver."
"You don’t know what it means to me to hear you say that," came the earnest reply. "My husband is always criticizing my driving, although I feel that I’m a good driver. I guess your daughter noticed how careful I am, and said something. You just made my day."
- Doug
Doug came home to find a message from Jack Kramer on his answering machine. Jack, an old college buddy, had spent the last fifteen years in and out of mental hospitals. Now he was on medication, living at home with his parents. He called Doug every couple weeks and talked for an hour, complaining about his doctor, his medication, his parents, and his life.
Doug dreaded returning Jack’s call, but when he remembered his inner commitment to make one call a day to make someone feel good, he thought, "What the heck! This will be my ‘Words Can Heal’ call for today."
Doug dialed the number. For the first time ever, Jack’s mother answered. Jack was not home (much to Doug’s secret relief), so Doug left a message.
Doug was about to hang up when instead he blurted out to Mrs. Kramer, whom he had never met: "I know it must not be easy to deal with Jack and his illness. It must take a lot of endurance and patience on your part to still be taking care of a child Jack’s age, and without even the usual perks of parenthood. You must be a very special woman."
Doug expected to hear a polite, "Thank you." Instead he heard . . . silence and then crying. After a couple minutes, Mrs. Kramer composed herself enough to say, "You are the first person in all these years to give me any recognition for what I do for Jack. Yes, it is very, very difficult. Everyone commiserates with Jack, but no one has ever noticed how hard it is for me. Until now."
After exchanging a few more appreciative sentences, Doug hung up. He felt like a million bucks, as if he had dug a small hole to plant a flower, and instead struck gold.
He glanced at his watch. It had taken him six minutes.
More Tips for At Home
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Tip of the Week: At Work
Most of us are quick to compliment a co-worker’s new suit or haircut. A person feels even better, however, when we appreciate his or her inner qualities, since they are more integral to the person’s identity. Here are some ways to express appreciation for what often goes unnoticed:
- "I’m impressed with how you never waste company time with personal chit-chat. That shows a lot of integrity."
- "I noticed how hard you worked on that project. I genuinely admire your dedication."
- "You really responded with humility when the boss chewed you out just now. Humility is certainly an underrated virtue."
- "I wish I could be as cheerful as you are. Your smile lights up the whole office."
- "I heard you missed last night’s meeting because your kid had a school play. That’s what I call having your priorities straight."
More Tips for At Work
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