Press Materials

Goldie Hawn
"A Better Normal"
Words Can Heal.org
National Press Club
December 10, 2001

Thank you for that kind introduction, Dick. I'm glad I could be here with you today. I want to thank the National Press Club and especially Rick Dunham, for making this event possible.

On September 11, 2001, the world changed. My family and I were stunned by the acts of unspeakable terror unfolding as we watched. But the longer we watched, the more we were moved by acts of remarkable courage.

We all shared the experience. We all learned that we are vulnerable - even doing something as ordinary as opening our mail.

But we also realized that we are strong in ways we never expected.

We rediscovered our patriotism.

We reaffirmed our commitment to rid the world of tyrants and terrorism.

We renewed our sense of community.

We held our families a little closer.

But even now, when I watch the news or I listen to the political pundits and the voices of authority telling us that everything will be all right, I ask myself: will everything be all right?

Since the attack on America our lives have been a muddle of conflicted and confusing emotions.

Acting is my profession. But I am also a woman, a daughter, a partner, a mother, and an American. I too feel fear, anger, sadness, rage, and uncertainty.

The world has changed; we have changed.

Acts meant to terrorize us, galvanized us.

Since September 11, we have all witnessed extraordinary acts of courage. Our heroes: firefighters, the rescue workers, and the police; office workers leading co-workers to safety; men and women picking through bent and twisted metal in a desperate search for victims; teenagers making sandwiches and delivering water to rescue workers; people comforting the injured, soothing the pain.

It's significant that we are in the National Press Club. The American press has always understood that the words they choose are incredibly powerful.

Journalists know that a pause in their delivery or a change of inflection can change everything.

Sitting at my table are some of the people who help us sort out and understand the world around us, who define and help us explain history even as it is being written. The men and women who bring us the news have themselves become the news.

They are, in very real ways, among America's newest heroes.

Are they as courageous as the firefighters or the police officers or the rescue workers at the World Trade Center and the Pentagon? Once upon a time, not so long ago, we might have said no. They aren't in danger. They don't risk their lives to do their job. Well, not any more.

If we need any further proof that we live in troubled and troubling times, these are the touchstones that make it clear that the world has changed. When journalists might be risking their lives opening an envelope, the world has changed.

Around the world this year, 32 journalists lost their lives in pursuit of the truth. I would guess that everyone in this room has lost a friend or a colleague to violence visited upon a journalist. I know that for our friends from Reuters the grief is still fresh, their hearts are still mourning, as are we.

So, to every journalist in Afghanistan, for each reporter on America's mean streets, at every anchor desk, and in every newsroom, we salute you.

Despite the risks and the burdens, what will not change is the power of your words.

And with words as your only protection, with words as your strength and your power, you are our beacon of light.

Thanks to all of you in the media for your devotion to the truth. You continue to inform us and enlighten us. Thank you for not giving up and not giving in; and most of all, thank you for your courage.

Americans all over this country are heroic. They are making a difference - by giving their time, contributing their money, and offering their prayers. We have seen an America that has not just gone back to normal - we have made a BETTER normal.

But we can't stop here. The heroes of the future will not just be on the battlefield or in New York, Washington, or on airplanes. They will be at our dinner tables, in our schools, in our places of work, and in our neighborhoods.

I remember something Arthur Ashe once said: "True heroism is unremarkable, sober, very undramatic. It is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever cost, but the urge to serve others, whatever the cost."

And so here is my plea to you. Do something unremarkable that will change our lives. Don't wait for solutions to come from Washington. They are doing their job, but we must do ours as well. And our job is to continue to shape a changed and changing world.

How are people changed by catastrophe? We are more sentimental now . . . and not at all troubled by it. We want simpler dreams and simpler times and lives less complicated. We want to return, not to normal, but to a better normal.

But what does that really mean? A BETTER normal?

In a post September 11th world, we need to worry less about being clever, and more about being wise. We need to realize that each person has his or her own unique and special soulprint - as unique as his or her DNA. And every soul and every body deserves to be spoken to with care and respect.

We used to pretend that we didn't care when someone said something unkind. We would say, "Sticks and stones can break our bones, but words will never hurt me." But words do hurt. And painful words have no place in a "better normal" world.

Think about it. A child gets a bruise or even breaks an arm, and pretty soon they are healed. But when they are told, "You will never amount to anything" by parents or peers, they can be devastated for a lifetime.

And sometimes those lifetimes can be painfully short.

I read with horror the story of the ten-year-old girl who was tormented by bullies every day at school. She dared not share her pain or her shame with anyone. And she thought there was no one who would listen to her anyway. No child should feel so desperate, so helpless, so alone.

She hung herself to escape the pain and humiliation she could not bear.

Have you listened to your son, to your daughter today? Not just what they say, but what is left unsaid. We are the lighthouse our children look for when they feel adrift. Are you shining for them?

Every actor, everyone in public life, has experienced the pain that gossip and untruths can cause. Imagine trying to explain away some of those stories to your children.

But famous or not, words can break our hearts and subdue our spirit. They can destroy our desire and crush our courage. The words we hear affect every part of our lives. And negative words can haunt us for the rest of our lives.

Words like "I hate you," "Fattie," "Loser" - even the new word of war "Infidel."

Compare those words to "I'm sorry," "I like you just the way you are," "Thank you," and "I accept that we have differences."

Words matter. They can tear us down or terrorize us. Words can create fear and anger. Or they can build, enrich, and nurture us.

The things we say . . . .

The way we say them . . . .

Our voice is both a window and a mirror. The words we use are a mirror, reflecting the way the world touches us. The way we say the words is a window into our hearts and minds.

Today, kids of all ages are flocking to see Harry Potter. Remember when Harry looks into the magical mirror and sees the world he wants to see? Do you remember what Harry, an orphan, sees in this magical mirror? His parents.

I know that parents everywhere can understand the love and the need of a child. Mothers especially know the fullness of their hearts, their desire to hold and love and nurture every child, especially those who hurt. But there are still too many stories about ten-year-old girls who are threatened and intimidated.

There are too many Columbines; too many New Bedfords. There are too many bullies seeking out and attacking the weaker kids. There are too many parents, and teachers, and children wondering, "Will my school be next? Will I be next?"

When I look into that magical mirror, what do I see? I see us trying to create a new world - with a new definition of "normal."

I see parents turning off the television and talking with their children. Sometimes those conversations are about painful subjects such as separation, loss, dependency, and failure. But they are always about listening, respect and love.

I see everyday Americans changing the way they talk to, and talk about, each other.

I see people nurturing each other, bringing light and joy to each other's lives and to the world.

In that magical mirror, I see people avoiding the kinds of words that hurt and using words that heal. The words we choose can create feelings of joy, love, closeness, gratitude, and maybe even radiant bliss. Our words can console, comfort, inspire, motivate, and elevate. A few kind words can boost the spirit and lighten our burden.

I see in that mirror a more civil world; one filled with peace, and light, and tolerance.

We all know that gossip is a problem in our schools, homes and places of work. According to a new Luntz/Laszlo poll:

• Nearly 90 percent of Americans acknowledge that they are troubled by hurtful speech.
• Some 51 million people say they are hurt by gossip each week, and more than 60 million feel that someone is lying about them behind their back each week.
• 117 million Americans say they listen to or share gossip about other people once or twice a week.

Schoolchildren are among the most vulnerable to the epidemic of untrue words and hurtful speech

• According to the National Education Association, 160,000 children skip school each day because of intimidation by their peers.
• The U.S. Department of Education reports that 77 percent of middle and high school students in small midwestern towns have been bullied.
• A National Institute of Health study released in the Journal of the American Medical Association reveals that almost a third of 6th to 10th graders - 5.7 million children nationwide - have experienced some kind of bullying.

It's time to declare "gossip free" zones in our schools and in our lives. The first step is to acknowledge that gossip and verbal abuse have real consequences. Once people admit that they have a problem with gossip, they can take steps to improve their lives and the lives of the people they love around them.

Think Americans can't reduce gossip and verbal abuse? Does it sound impossible? It's not. Big changes have to start somewhere.

There was a time when slavery was considered normal in America. It was not so long ago that women were denied the right to vote. Most of us still remember when schools were still segregated.

We changed. We embraced a different idea of normal. Ideas that made America better.

Words Can Heal is a new national campaign founded by my good friend Rabbi Irwin Katsof. He started this initiative, dedicated to bringing people together by combating verbal violence and gossip.

What can we do to reduce verbal violence and gossip? We can start this holiday season by replacing hurtful words, angry words, untruthful words, with words of meaning, kindness, and love.

The first step is intention.

Go around the holiday dinner table and tell each person one thing that you like about them. Tell them why they're special to you.

Ask everyone you're with to share one dream that they hope to achieve. Sharing dreams with people you care about is one of the best ways to bring people closer together. Don't be embarrassed to share your dreams, too. You might feel vulnerable sharing your secret thoughts, but I promise it will bring you all closer.

Every New Year's Eve, every member of our family shares our hopes and dreams for the future. It's so wonderful to talk about our feelings and to hear everyone's ideas. It is a close and intimate time.

Everyone has an idea that will make the world - or their family - better. Share your ideas with each other. Have family meetings. They work.

Finally, have each person read the Words Can Heal pledge. Ask them to talk about what the pledge means to them. No matter how old fashioned it may seem to you, do it. At the least, you will share some quality time together. You may even have some laughs.

The Words Can Heal initiative is bringing recommendations and tools to people across America to help reduce verbal violence and gossip, and to make democracy stronger. The campaign has a free handbook available on its Website, and you will soon see educational programs starting in our schools.

United States Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle, Senator Harry Reid and Congresswoman Ilena Ros-Lehtin, AOL Time Warner Ventures' Len Leader, advertising's David Suissa, my friends Rene Russo, Tom Cruise, along with many others are involved in this initiative.

And every one of you, too, can help make a difference in the lives of those you come in contact with every day.

Words Can Heal asks you to think before you speak. A simple yet powerful goal: be careful about what you say and how you say it.

There is ample evidence that the power of spoken words has a dynamic effect not just on our bodies and our minds, but on our lives and our behavior, too.

If we change the words we use, we can change the way we think. When we change the way we think, we can change the way we feel. Change the way we feel, and we can change the world.

Words can hurt. And words can heal.

The Words Can Heal pledge is direct but deep:

I pledge to think more about the words I use.
I will try to see how gossip hurts people, including myself, and work to eliminate it from my life.
I will try to replace words that hurt with words that encourage, engage and enrich.
I will not become discouraged when I am unable to choose words perfectly, because making the world a better place is hard work.
And I am pledging to do that, one word at a time.

You can find this pledge at the Words Can Heal.org website.

One last thought. My family tree has deep roots in America. I'm a direct descendant of Edward Rutledge, the youngest signer of the Declaration of Independence. I'm very proud to be an American. And I'm grateful and honored to have an opportunity to talk about something as important as the Words Can Heal campaign.

America was founded on a clear, profound ideal: Every person is entitled to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And today, 225 years later, I believe that now, more than ever, we are obligated to enlarge these founding principles. Let's use them to fashion a better normal. Let's use them to shape a better America. And let's start, simply, with words of kindness. Words that heal.

I hope you'll all join me and take the Pledge. Make it your own. I know that we can do this. We can change the world. Together, we can build a better normal.

Thank you.